Alternative curriculum vitae

Anna’s alternative curriculum vitae (in her father’s view)

1968: Anna is born in one of the many houses at the ancient, dusty Roman road EGNATIA. She has blue eyes, black hair and is called Ulrike. A few minutes after her birth she furiously cries at her father with her face as red as a beetroot.

anna_kind1 anna_kind2  

1971: At the age of three years, she has understood everything.

1971 – 1973: Her favourite dish is shrimps with scrambled eggs, her favourite clothes are ringed socks and skirts, her best friend is called »Püppüp« and is stuffed with wood wool.

Questions to which she does not answer:
»Who did pick you up at the kindergarten?«
»Why don’t you eat everything that’s on your plate? «
A question she asks:
(to her father) »Why do you pretend to be good?«
(to Clemens and Manuel) »You could also play with Riekchen.«
(to her parents on Korfu) » I do want to go by coach, I do want to go by coach, I do want to go by coach, I do want to go by coach, I do want to go by coach.«

anna_kind3From 1977
Black figures of air from ancient times appear to her and threaten her, particularly in the dark of her bedroom. Ulrike draws a teddy bear as perfectly as if she had never done anything else.

From 1982: Püppüp hasn’t been Anna’s best friend for a long time. Her new friend’s name is Alexandra, but she looks like a large doll.

From 1988: Many things are terrible, and most terrible are her parents. Ulrike calls herself Anna and her parents at her first names. Her eyes are now brown and her hair is blond.

From 1992: The threatening ghosts begin to disappear, and the parents gradually become easier to endure. Anna becomes acquainted with impressive men, incompetent dentists and masses of arseholes.

From 1993: Gradually the threatening dark disappears from Anna’s pictures, and they communicate a joy (and droll fantasy) which cannot be learnt by mere painting technique.

End of the nineties: She chooses a man who does not only make children with her in a very pleasant way, but also brings them up together with her in unpleasant days.

anna_mit302000 and 2003
As a result, a concentrated master builder and a resolute dancer are born. Both of them have understood everything at the age of three years (see above). Somewhere during the last decades:

  • It was attested to her in a scientifically substantiated test that she was only fit to pass her Realschulreife (German B-levels).
  • She had the nerve to prove the scientists wrong by passing a good Abitur (German A-levels).
  • And on top of everything, she passed a good high school examination.

What does this show us? It shows that many things can change fast or slowly and that we may still expect a great deal from Ulrike Anna Margarete.